Sleep well, little one

In the German-speaking world, there is a well-known book called “Every Child Can Learn to Sleep” (“Jedes Kind kann schlafen lernen”). While it’s no cure-all, it is a book with a clear message. Sonia Bienz is one of the many people who has read the book for guidance on getting her newborn to sleep. “There were definitely some things in there that helped me when I was unsure,” she said. “But at the end of the day, every child has their own unique personality and that is what I had to discover.” In her case, her little boy just wanted to hear his mum’s voice when going to sleep. He especially loved hearing her sing – even if she was a little out of tune. “Finding out what my baby liked and disliked was exciting and frustrating at the same time,” says Sonia. Little by little, it became clear that he loved to hear his mum sing while being held in her arms. He especially liked the song Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen, and after two verses, the little one started routinely falling asleep.

Learning to sleep can be a frustrating and exhausting process, but it can also help create a bond between baby and parents, according to experts. It’s important for parents to understand that there is no one-size-fits-all solution to bedtime. Dads and moms will patiently discover what their little one wants and needs over time. Not every night will be the same, especially when the baby starts teething or when a growth spurt results in increased hunger. Nevertheless, routines are always helpful. “I've found that it helps my little man if he goes to bed at the same time every night with the same ritual," says Sonia. Routines are reassuring and create a sense of consistency- whether it’s singing, reading aloud or talking to your child about their day. Make their bed a safe place for them and make sure they feel secure and well cared for - something that is always important, especially in a baby’s first few months of life. 

The right sleeping environment will create a sense of security for your little one. This starts with the ideal room temperature, which experts say is between 16 to 18 degrees Celsius. If your baby tosses and turns a lot in their sleep, try using a baby sleeping bag to keep them feeling secure. A cuddly toy or a blankie can also help your child to feel comfortable. However, be careful not to put too many soft toys or blankets in the bed with babies as they increase the risk of suffocation. 

If your child wakes up during the night, you can comfort them by gently stroking their tummy and speaking to them softly while they remain in their bed.  Of course, if they cry, feel free to pick them up and cuddle them. However, you should also try to convey to them that it is nighttime, and it is a time for sleep, not playing. 

In the first few months you will need to breastfeed or bottle feed during the night. Some parents may also consider introducing formula to breastfed babies at night.  It’s important to do what works for your family, to ensure everyone gets a good night’s sleep. 

Here are some additional tips for a good night with your baby:

• Avoid turning on a bright light. Instead, install a soft night light that you can leave on all night. 
• Ensure that your child experiences their bed as an oasis of calm from day one. Even when your child gets older, make sure you don’t use their bed as a place for punishment.
• It’s OK to share a bed with your child, as long as safety precautions are taken, such as ensuring your baby cannot slip under any blankets and that they won’t be rolled over on. Also, be aware that the little one might get used to the cozy environment with their parents, which might end up in less rested nights for mum and dad when their baby learns to turn and kick.

“My husband and I weren’t exactly on the same page when we were buying the baby’s bed,” says Sonia. “But we ended up seeking some advice, which was really helpful.”  

The expert’s tips: 

• Choose a cot that can be converted to suit a larger child and that can be adjusted in height. Also look out for removable bars or the option to remove one side of the cot completely. This will allow you to use the bed for a longer period of time.
• Look for a firm mattress of natural, organic fibers. Once you have put the baby’s bed together, double-check in case there are any protruding screws or dangerous edges or corners. 

Every child can learn how to sleep well, even if it takes time for them to learn. “While there are many resources, advice, books and online tips available, nothing is better than a parent’s intuition and time with their little one,” Sonia says. “Even when advice was well-meant and helpful, we ultimately found that we needed to discover for ourselves what worked for our little one and what worked for us. So that’s what I’d recommend other parents do too.”